I pull my neck, and Audrey doesn't help

You know how people get really good at things they've practice and then they say they could do it their sleep? And it's usually something impressive, right, like reciting a poem, or baking a cake or changing a diaper or something. Well, I rendered myself incapacitated in my sleep. I jerked my head up, causing a fiery pain to shoot from my shoulder up to the base of my head. I laid still for ten minutes or so and at some point reached for my pillow, which caused pain to increase. I've been sleeping on an air mattress for the past month, occasionally on the floor or love seats, and never had any pain. And now that I'm home in my comfy bed, this. At least I wasn't sleep eating, like Liz Lemon, which is chronic. And at least I'm unemployed and had nothing really to do today. Except celebrate Belgium. Belgium!

I already celebrated Belgium once, but I'd hate to break up the B's. Plus I was getting tired of these Caribbean countries, mocking us with their warmth. Since I was immobile for the day, I figured I'd watch an Audrey Hepburn movie, since she was born in Belgium. The Unforgiven was on TV, conveniently, so I submitted to two hours of pain on top of already present pain. What a pointless movie. I assumed that because it Audrey Hepburn it would be a little bit funny and mostly light-hearted. Well in this one, she plays an American Indian (apparently that just requires really long hair) who makes out with her adopted brother (which is gross, doesn't matter that they're not blood relatives), kills a bunch of her blood family, and some guy gets hung (hanged?) for no real reason. What a freakin downer. What gives, Audrey?

I am still unable to move my neck. Time to find a terrible movie about Belize.